So UnClear
by Piper Squared
Summary: [Piper wanted to be like Prue...Phoebe and Paige wanted Piper...Leo wanted to help...it all ended up in one big mess...] FIRST ONESHOT SONGFIC


**My first **_Charmed_

* * *

**Title: **_So UnClear_

**Rating: **_T_

**Genre: **_Drama/Romance/Slight Angst_

**Characters: **_Piper Halliwell, Phoebe Halliwell, Leo Wyatt, and Paige Matthews_

**Pairings: **_Piper/Leo, and Halliwell SisterShip_

**Song: **_Epiphany_

**Artist: **_Staind_

**POV: **

* * *

_'Your words to me just a whisper  
Your face is so unclear'_

* * *

"I'm sick of it, Phoebe, okay? I'm sick of being the one who has to hold everything up around here and be the Big Boss Sister. I know Prue did what she could, but I'm not Prue and I cannot _be_ Prue! All I can be is _this. Just_ this! Me, Piper Halliwell. _Just_ this!" 

Phoebe Halliwell didn't jump or flinch at her older sister's outburst. She was used to it lately. She was used to Piper lashing out lately in the midst of the slightest stress. What did bother her, however, was the sight of her older sister almost breaking down in tears and under pressure. It was just the thing that she couldn't help. Sometimes. Other times, she would have been glad to jump in and make it all better for Piper. She would do anything for her and help in any way. But this was again beyond her reach. Whenever Prue was brought up, it was beyond Phoebe's reach.

And she knew it.

"I'm sorry, Piper. I just didn't think right off that--"

"No! You're right, Phebes, you didn't think. Because lately, it seems like I'm the one doing all the thinking. While Paige is off orbing into stores and God knows where sles, I'm stuck here with work upon work with nothing to show for," Piper took a huffy breath and looked at Phoebe, saying slowly in a tone a decible lower, "And what are you doing, Phebes? I hardly see you around anymore. I hardly see you with the Book of Shadows. I hardly see you pulling your own weight like you used to."

Phoebe was taken aback by the accusation, but wasn't about to let herself go down. "I've been really busy, Piper. You know that. I know you do."

"Yeah. Busy with what, though? I've been scraping the bottom of the barrels. I don't even have Leo to help me nowadays. What with the Elders busying him up, I've barely seen him in bed." She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I'm tired of pulling wieght. And I'm tired of trying to live up to Prue."

Phoebe shook her head and took a step towards her sister. "But that's the problem. You don't have to live up to Prue. You just have to be Piper. Piper Halliwell. Don't try to be Prue."

"I'm not _trying_ to be Prue," Piper said quietly, heading for the stairs, "I'm just trying to be the big sister."

* * *

_'I try to pay attention  
Your words just disappear'_

* * *

Upstairs, Piper slipped into a pair of grey jogging pants, a blue tank top and a hunter green hoodie jacket, sitting on the bed alone with the Book of Shadows amoung other books opened around her. She looked away from the Book for a spare moment up to the ceiling and sighed. 

"Leo," she called, half expecting a swirl of light appear beside her and half expecting him not to show up at all. She was disappointed the it happened to be the second statement. "Leo, please I could really use you right about now." Piper always knew that it didn't hurt to try once.

But nothing happened. No wonderful swirl of Whitelighter glimmering light. No Leo. More downs. Just the usual lately for Piper and her sisters. With what happened after their last demon encounter case, it seemed as though the Charmed Ones sisters were splitting and getting stressed to the core with each fight. The Power of Three was becoming The Power of Ones. And that wasn't good. Not on any given day or point.

Piper just wished that what had been said wasn't said. That she could turn back time. But Leo had told her that turning back time would just make things worse than they already were. And she just couldn't deal with more of that.

* * *

_'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Forget all the things I should have said'_

* * *

The rain started to fall around ten that night. Piper was in the kictehn making herself some good old fashioned hot chocolate. Leo had not come back and Phoebe was in her room. Paige was in the living room. Piper didn't know how to start up a conversation with her. So she contented herself in the kitchen for the time being. 

That is, until Phoebe ended up coming down into the kitchen in search for a nighttime snack.

"Hey," Piper had spoken up first, surprising herself. "Want some?" She gestured to the kettle after pouring herself a cup. Phoebe nodded.

"Yeah, sure. Sounds nice," she rubbed her hands together, the sleeves of her blue pajamas falling at her wrists.

Piper smiled lightly and grabbed another coffee cup, then pouring her sister some. "Leo's still not back," she decided to make some point of conversation, although her words were almost tripping over themseleves.

"I'm sorry," Phoebe said, taking the cup after Piper had slid it over to her. "Must be hard."

"What must be hard?" Paige asked, walking into the kitchen slowly.

"Leo being gone for...a while."

Paige nodded. "Oh, right. I can sense him. Why didn't you just ask me what was going on?"

Piper took a sip. "I guess I was just...trying to avoid closure."

Phoebe and Paige held their looks within their minds, even though they both wanted to direct them to Piper. Both were thinking the same thing, though. That all three of them were trying to avoid each other one way or another. It was just too hard, though. Especially since their feelings that they had for each other were confusing and mutual. They hoped the storm would pass.

Until then, their words were just as strange as anything else.

* * *

_'So I speak to you in riddles  
Cause my words get in my way'_

* * *

Phoebe washed out the cups after Piper and Paige had long went up to their rooms. She listened to the rain fall and thought about what had been going on with the three of them lately. It seemed as if the Power of Three was falling apart. And the world needed the Charmed Ones. She hoped that they would all get over this little storm and move on. That they would all be the same soom. That they would all be theirselves again. 

She didn't want to think about what would happen if they went their separate ways. The thought just sent a chill up her spine. And at that moment, she wished that Prue were there.

It wasn't as if Piper wasn't trying. She really was. But it just had been so much different with the three of them. They had grown up together. Knew each other. After they had lost Prue, it was like losing a peice of them. And Piper hadn't been able to forgive herself for it since.

Even thought it wasn't her fault.

Not by a long shot.

* * *

_'I smoke the whole thing to my head  
And feel it wash away'_

* * *

Paige didn't really know what was going on. She didn't think she wanted to know, either. But in any way, shape, or form, she knew that it had a whole lot to do with Prue and a little to do with their last demon encounter. The mission had just sent a full blast memory of Prue's death to her sisters that it was starting to rub off on everybody else. She knew Piper was trying, but sometimes trying wasn't enough. Or sometimes it just wore them down. And it was doing both. She wished with everything in her that Leo would come back to comfort Piper and then bring restoration to the rest of them in the Halliwell Manor. He could always resolve things like this. But with the Whitelighter at the end of the problems, it wasn't the best thing to ever bring up. 

She sighed deeply and rolled over in bed, letting the rain lull her to sleep. "Soon," she mumbled to herself. "Soon it will all go away."

At least she hoped so. Because the last thing she wanted was another memory brought up.

Piper laid in bed, listening to the rain, wishing Leo was there to tell her that she was trying, doing her best, and that she didn't have to be the better person out of everyone. That she could wind down sometimes. That she didn't always have to think about Prue even though she wanted to.

She wanted so much...and it seemed like it was just so much to ask for. That she couldn't get it no matter how hard she ran for it. How she had tried to grasp it time and time again.

A swirling stream of light appeared next to her and Leo stood there not a moment later. Piper smiled slowly and wearily, seeing him kneel down in front of her.

"Hey," he smiled. He always smiled. "I heard you calling all day. Sorry I couldn't leave earlier."

Piper nodded. "It's okay."

Leo's smile faded. "What's wrong?"

"Oh it's nothing," Piper tried to make it believable, but her own voice sounded cracked and far away. She knew that her Whitelighter husband would never buy it.

"Piper," Leo sighed and sat down in front of her. "You didn't call me all day for nothing. Something is obviously bothering you and I want to help."

"You always want to help."

"Piper."

Try as she might, Piper Halliwell couldn't keep her ters at bay anymore and the lump in her throat grew too big for her to swallow. She let the tears trickle down slowly just like how the rain outside had began.

"I can't be everything."

"You don't have to," Leo wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb. "You do too much, Piper. I tell you that all the time."

Piper swallowed. "I can't be like Prue."

Leo understood then. "Oh, Piper. Prue again?"

Piper nodded and sat up, wrapping her arms around Leo's neck and setting her chin on his shoulder. Her tears ran down her face and he rubbed her back slowly. "I can't do this anymore."

"You can. We all have fallbacks one time or another."

"It seems like I always have a fallback, Leo."

"But you always pull through it," he kissed her cheek. "You always keep your sisters in check. You always help them and they help you. You can't be everything and you can't do everything at once. You need to lay back sometimes."

Piper closed her eyes and calmed slowly. "I miss Prue."

"I know you do," Leo rubbed her back and smiled slowly. "I know you do...and it's okay to miss her."

* * *

_'Cause I can't take anymore of this  
I want to come apart  
Or dig myself a little hole inside your precious heart'_

* * *

Phoebe couldn't sleep. She was listening to the rain, thinking, racing in her mind's eye. She sat up eventually and just stared outside. She hated when they fought. They shouldn't be acting this way.

Yet, they were sisters after all. They fought. But this was just ridiculous. It was beyond fighting. And what was worse, she didn't know how to stop it.

For the first time in a long time, she wished that Piper wasn't suddenly the oldest sister. She wished that Prue were there to set things straight. Then again, she liked things the way they turned out now. She liked having Piper be oldest. She liked having Piper set them straght when it was needed and convenient. She loved Piper and Paige with her whole heart and it hurt when they fought.

Phoebe sighed heavily and stared out her window, bringing her knees up to her chest. She laid her head down across her arms and closed her eyes momentarily. If the Power of Three needed to be together, she wished a way for this storm to blow over.

"Power of Three...let us be..." she mumbled to herself. It always seemed like it was raining now.

Not just outside, but inside her mind. Their minds. How do you stop a storm that doesn't want to blow over right away? How do you stop something that can't be stopped by simple words? How can you return to the version of normalcy you knew your whole life with the people you loved?  
Phoebe Halliwell may have not had all the answers, but she certainly wanted them. And she wanted them badly.

* * *

_'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Forget all the things I should have said'_

* * *

Leo watched Piper sleep and worried for her. He'd never seen the sisters so broken apart. He'd never been able to keep the peace before. At least not as hard as it was now proving to be.

He slipped quietly out of the room via orbing into Phoebe's room. She was laying on her side in bed, one foot out, her head halfway under a pillow. Leo noticed that her face was tear-streaked. His heart crumbled for the middle Halliwell sister. Carefully tucking her foot back under the covers, he smiled and vowed to her that he would make everything okay.

Orbing once again, he entered Paige's room. The youngest Halliwell was awake, staring at the ceiling. She didn't even seem to acknowledge that he had entered her room. Leo cleared his throat.

"Paige?"

Paige looked over at him, hastily sitting up. "Sheesh, knock much?"

"Why knock when you can orb?" He smirked at her jokingly, not seeing the light of his Mr. Sunshine phase breaking through to the girl.

Paige Halliwell shook her head and stared outside into the rain. "What's wrong with us lately, Leo? We never act like this."

"I think Piper's just trying to take too much at once and can't seem to find the way to express herself for it."

"So she dumps it on everybody else in the house?" Paige looked at him, hurt in her eyes unlike he had ever seen before in his life.

Leo was lost for words, which surprised even himself and he shrugged helplessly. "Paige, I can't say much except to try your best in reaching Phoebe and Piper. You know you can do what you can to help. You know what you're good at." With a swirl of light, he orbed back into his and Piper's room.

Paige just laid back down, letting slow tears run while Leo lay in bed beside Piper, awake on all accounts and thinking hard and through.

What he wouldn't give to have a day where their sense of normalcy was returned. What he wouldn't give to have everything back the way it was before.

And what he wouldn't give to be the one person to make it all work out.

* * *

_'I am nothing more than a little boy inside  
That cries out for attention  
Yet I always try to hide'  
_

* * *

By the next morning, it looked like nobody had slept a wink. Piper had her hair fashioned haphazardly atop her head in a bun, Phoebe left her hair down in one mess and Paige's hair was in two, low, tangled pigtails. All of the girls looked exhausted, although makeup helped the bags under their eyes.

As usual, Leo was the Mr. Sunshine of the group. He looked refreshed, which was surprising since he hadn't slept as well as the girls just the same.

Piper poured herself a huge mug of coffee and avoided eye contact with Phoebe on the other side of the counter where she ate her cereal in silence. Paige was enjoying a cup of orange juice at the dining room table. Leo watched the spectacle from the corner of his eye, getting himself a cup of coffee as well.

"Sleep okay?" He decided to make conversation.

"Fine," Piper nodded.

Phoebe talked through a mouthful of cereal. "Good."

"Peachy," Paige set her cup down.

_It's like talking to a bunch of kids,_ Leo thought. And it was the truth on all edges...literally all edges. He wanted to break the ice, but didn't want to hound on the issue. So, he kept up with the conversation that was going on.

"That's good," he looked at Piper, who tore her eyes from Phoebe the moment she looked up at her. It was like a bunch of preschool kids in one room that were being naughty and fighting over one toy they all loved.

Like children. And Leo knew how to deal with children.

Just...not stone-cold sisters.

* * *

_'Cause I talk to you like children  
Though I don't know how I feel'_

* * *

"Piper..."

Piper looked up from the book in her lap. She had been sitting alone in the attic and hour after breakfast, now fully dressed with another cup of coffee beside her on a old chest. She was surprised when Phoebe walked in also fully dressed and looking somewhat better.

"Hey," she looked back down at the book and Phoebe stood beside the old bureau and leaned against it. "Whatcha need?"

Phoebe shrugged and looked around, listening to the rain that was slowly letting up outside from the night beside. "I just like to come up here and think sometimes."

"Yeah," Piper nodded and looked to the opposite side. "Prue liked to do the same thing. I think I just learned it from her. And I haven't been able to break away from the habit since."

Phoebe nodded and strode over to the couch daringly. "Prue did a lot of things you looked up to her for. But that doesn't mean you have to be her now just because she's gone, Sweetie." She sat down on the couch next to her older sister.

Piper sighed heavily. "I know. But I feel like if I don't, we'll all fall apart."

"Like we are now?"

The oldest Halliwell knew her sister had a point. She should be the one trying to make things work out for all of them. Not worse. She should be the one to make it all work in the end. To do the right thing.

"I want to do the right thing," Piper told Phoebe in a cracked, silent voice. Her eyes began to water and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "I want to be able to do the right thing for everybody and make it all work. But I can't. Not unless I have help and it's revealed to me."

Phoebe nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind Piper's ear. "But you have to let us in sometimes, Piper. You have to let us in and help if that's what you want. And if you want it revealed to you, ask. Ask and we will do our best as a family and as the Power of Three to help you help us conquer whatever comes our way." She paused and smiled. "You need to know that. And you need to grasp that."

Piper nodded, the tears becoming evident now and slowly running down her face. "I know. I just miss it all."

"I know," Phoebe smiled solemnly. "And it's okay." She hugged Piper close to her, allowing her sister to let all the emotions of the past week out. "Just...have the trust I know you have. And we'll make it."

* * *

_'But I know I'll do the right thing  
If the right thing is revealed'_

* * *

"'Cause it's always raining in my head...forget all the things I should have said..." Paige sang slowly to herself in the living room, laying upside-down on the couch.

Piper and Phoebe had been in the attic and she heard them making their way down the stairs. She hoped in the deepest part of her heart that whatever they had been up there talking about, it would help their bittery situation. Yet hopes always seemed to fail around them. Still, though, she wouldn't toss the thought aside just yet.

"Hey Paige," Phoebe spoke up first, seeming a little bit more chipper than she had been in the past week. This sailed Paige's hopes higher.

Piper sat on the table in front of the youngest sister and cocked her head so that she was almost equally upside-down with Paige. "Hey. Can we talk?"

Paige nodded and st upright. "Yeah, sure. Woah...head rush." She shook her head and blinked twice. "Okay, I'm good. Whatcha need?"

Piper smiled slowly. "We wanted to apologize for what has been going on for the past few days to a week."

Paige nodded and Phoebe seemed to let out a breath of air she'd been holding in. "We're sisters," Paige shrugged. "It's what we do."

"But we shouldn't be so--brash about it," Phoebe said. "We need to be able to talk about whatever is bothering us."

"Like Prue?" Paige asked, looking right at Piper.

Piper looked back and swallowed hard. She nodded and looked down for a moment and clasped her hands together. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I just...it's just been so hard without her here that I try inconsistently to be her and it just doesn't work the way I want it to."

Phoebe looked at Paige. "She's right."

"I know she is," Paige sighed and looked from Phoebe back at Piper. "You need to slow down.

And I know that sounds weird coming from me." She smiled and waved her hands. "You can't be Prue. You can't be everything and you can't run around like your head is cut off and be all highness."

Piper nodded. "I know."

"You know and yet you try to be who you're not anyway, " Phoebe cut in. Paige nodded in agreement and Piper rolled her head.

"Look, we all know that we need the Power of Three. Not speaking to each other and being apart just makes us vulnerable and will tear us further apart until we have nothing," Piper told her sisters. "So what do you say we shove all this behind us and start over a new week and do our best?"

Phoebe looked at Paige. Paige looked at Phoebe. Piper looked between the both of them.

"I'd like that," Paige smiled.

"Yeah, I'm sick of the tension," Phoebe nodded in agreement.

Piper smiled. "Yeah, me, too."

"Alright, who wants a hug now?"

Rolling her yes, Piper looked behind her and smirked. "Leo. How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to hear that whole sisterly lovey dovey setiment," Leo replied with a cocky grin.  
Piper looked at Phoebe. Phoebe looked at Paige. Then, Phoebe shot up. "After the Whitelighter!" She laughed and chased after Leo, Paige and Piper following and laughing as well. Leo took the dash through the dining room laughing and trying to dodge them.

"Leo!" The girls called when he disappered in a orb of light. They paused in the living room back where they had started and in another sweeping moment of orbed light, Leo appeared behind the girls and grabbed all three of them in a giant hug hold.

"Ai!" Phoebe squeaked as Leo laughed and tumbled them onto the couch with him, Piper sitting on his lap.

"There," he grinned. "It's about time we had some fun and this dark, gloomy mood lifted.

Piper smiled and looked at him and her sisters. "Yeah. It's a nice change."

* * *

_'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Forget all the things I should have said'_

* * *

**END**

**Hope you enjoyed it. This was one of my favorite songs and I have a few more that I will be using for Charmed, so be on the lookout.**

**Piper Squared**


End file.
